Orgasm has a lot of benefits physically, mentally and emotionally. It can even relieve headaches, but did you know that not all women reach orgasm during intercourse? According to a survey made, only 25 percent of all women reach orgasm during intercourse. In fact, some find them elusive and some may not experience them at all throughout their lifetime. The frequency of orgasms in women may vary, depending on various reasons.
Orgasms provide an extremely pleasurable feeling, and in fact, activates all parts of the brain, which makes it literally mind-blowing. However, not being able to achieve them should neither hinder you from having great sex, nor create doubts between you and your partner.
Whether you are a woman with a need for improving your sexual experiences, or a man bothered as to why your partner can’t reach orgasms as often you do during sexual intercourse, you need to understand the process of a woman’s orgasm. Below are the four stages of orgasm:
1. Stage One: Arousal
The first stage is called the arousal or the excitement phase, which is often triggered by thoughts alone, or through touching and kissing.
During this stage, the body becomes excited, the heart beats faster, and the blood pressure goes up. Breathing starts to get heavy, and the skin looks flushed due to a faster heart rate.
As the body reacts to the excitement, the breasts swell up, and the nipples become erect and sensitive to the touch. The clitoris becomes stiff and expands a bit. Tumescence or clitoral erection is caused by the increased flow of blood in the arteries to the clitoris, which is almost similar to the process of penile erection.
Increases in blood pressure, heart rate and blood flow causes the inner and outer labia to expand gradually. As the blood flows increasingly to the vagina walls, vaginal lubrication takes place as lymphatic fluids are forced through the tissue into the vagina.
They appear as tiny drops of sweat on the vagina walls. Added lubrication flows through the vagina coming from the cervix, which has a high supply of mucous glands
Direct stimulation of the clitoris should continue while pleasuring other sensitive spots of the body. As the excitement continues, the woman’s genitals may change color from flesh tones to pinkish or reddish due to the increased blood flow.
Internally, the body is going through some changes, as well. The vaginal cavity expands as if to provide a large space to keep the sperm remotely close to the cervix and prevents it from coming out easily.
2. Stage Two: Plateau
This stage is the excitement’s final stage, called the plateau. As the stimulation on the clitoris continues, a woman holds on to the feeling of excitement, which could hardly be contained and just waiting to be released.
Thoughts are focused on the genitals and on stimulating things. Uncontrollable contractions of the muscles in the pelvic region and upper legs can be felt, and the hips start to move almost involuntarily, a sign that orgasm is almost within reach.
3. Stage Three: Orgasm
Still at a constant direct clitoral stimulation, the orgasmic stage or the climax brings a burst of extreme pleasure indicated by a series of contractions in the vaginal and anal area, which could last for seconds. Internally, the cervix is actively responding to each contraction. It sucks up on the pool of semen with the sperm, which can be linked directly to getting pregnant if a woman reaches orgasm after the man does.
During orgasm, heavy and clipped breathing can be observed due to the rapid increase in heart rate and blood pressure but may not always be the case. Some women may hold their breath, while others prefer to release it. Aftershocks, or minor contractions may still be experienced in the vaginal area, but at a different frequency.
During intercourse, most men stop instantly right after ejaculation, leaving the woman on the edge of arousal. Not being able to achieve orgasm after the plateau stage can make a woman feel very uncomfortable and frustrated. You can continue the clitoral stimulation by using the hands or mouth.
A higher percentage of women who can achieve orgasm are those who are not afraid to experiment. Partners should be open to exploring other ways to achieve orgasm and not mainly focus on intercourse alone.
4. Stage Four: Resolution
At this stage, the body’s excitement starts to subside; the breasts, nipples and clitoris return to their normal size. Breathing becomes steady as the blood pressure, and heart rate returns to normal. The body lingers on the orgasmic pleasure, as the feeling of contentment starts to rush in.
Multiple orgasms are possible for some women, but not right after an orgasm, because constant direct stimulation of the clitoris can be unbearable, sometimes even painful for many women. This is because the clitoris is highly sensitive to direct contact after reaching orgasm. Stimulation can still continue with kissing and stroking, and intercourse or direct clitoral stimulation after a few minutes.
Note that orgasms in women involve direct and constant stimulation on the clitoris; thus, the stimulation can be accomplished not just through sexual intercourse. There are women who can easily achieve orgasm through self-pleasure, too. The best thing to do is to have fun and experiment to find what a woman likes the best.