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10 Masterful Ways to Be Your Own Mistress

9 years ago 7 minute read

Back in the day, touching yourself – and actually liking it – was a mortal sin. You can blame it on the church, patriarchal society, the culture or the norms that govern various areas that treat women as the lowest beings in the society. The good news is, gone are the days when masturbating equates to death penalty, hanging in public or whatever crazy punishment they gave poor women back in the day.

Despite the public acceptance on the concept of masturbation, the National Health and Social Life survey revealed that 58 percent of women don’t touch themselves down there.

To the remaining 42 percent, almost half of these women feel guilty for playing with themselves, which is weird, since there is no reason to feel that way, right?

Regardless of what society dictates, you have the right to your own body and you can do whatever you want, as long as it is within reason. Should you decide to shut off the whole world and just focus on your own pleasure, here are some things you can do to add that extra oomph.

1. Create An Atmosphere For Arousal

You don’t expect some action simply by lying down, right? Just like the ordinary sex, touching yourself requires preparation. By preparation, that means you should create an atmosphere that can help you get in the mood and reach climax.

During your DIY session, make sure to remove all forms of distraction not related to pleasure.

Turn off your phone and other gadgets, lock the door so no one comes in, or even turn off the lights and shut the curtains if necessary. If it helps, light some scented candles and play some slow jam to help you get in the mood. Clear your mind so you can focus only on giving yourself pleasure.

Remember, watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones surely won’t help in making you wet down there.

2. Don’t Underestimate The Bubble Bath

Your bed may be the ultimate haven for some one-on-one action. However, one of the most private places that can tickle your senses in a different level is in the tub.

Bubble Bath
Photo by Bob Peters / CC BY

Treating yourself with a bubble bath melts any muscle tension that takes over your body. This can help you relax and at the same time, make you more responsive to touch.

Once you are relaxed enough, massage your inner thighs and work all the way up to your breasts and nipples. Let your fingers do the teasing by focusing on erogenous zones. Employ different strokes, pressure and speed until you find the rhythm that works for you.

Of course, who wouldn’t love a bubble bath? Plus, the running water can also be your best friend in this situation.

3. Choose Your Dildo Wisely

Photo by Alexsb92 / CC BY-SA

One of the easiest ways to get an orgasm when your best man is MIA is through a dildo. A dildo is a type of sex toy shaped like an erect penis, which women can use for sexual stimulation.

You and your trusted dildo might have a history dating back since the first time you walked into a sex store. While the rubber and plastic have been of great service, there’s nothing wrong with going for the sturdier and stronger ones made of steel and glass.

Yes, steel or glass. Believe it or not, the heavier the dildo, the better it works in increasing pleasure and sensation down there. And if you really want to have a good time, leave the dildo in the fridge for a few hours. You’re going to love how it feels inside you.

4. Try It In Public

Okay, you didn’t see this one coming. If you want to “rock the boat” and try something new and exciting sans the help of your man, then get it on with yourself while you are in a public place.

Try it in publicDo you remember the scene in The Ugly Truth where Katherine Heigl climaxed during a dinner meeting? Well, you don’t have to be that elaborate, but at least you get the picture.

A vibrating panty on hand allows you to have a solo session whenever, wherever. To cover up that happy O face, take a bite or sip a drink and when you are about to let go, exclaim how good the food or drink tastes. Or try to finish it off in the bathroom if you don’t want to get caught in the act.

Now, that’s taking masturbation to a whole new level.

5. Do A Combo

Photo by Xdon elias / CC BY-SA

There’s nothing wrong with being an outside-only girl when it comes to your masturbating career. You are still able to let that big O, so who cares, right?

Well, no one. But don’t you want to try something new at least once in your life? In this case, making a combination during your solo session will definitely work for you.

To do this, insert your middle finger into your vagina until you are able to feel your G-spot. Then press your middle finger into your g-spot and push your palm against your clitoris. This move will surely massage your g-spot and clitoris both at the same time.

And the best part? This clit/g-spot combo will surely make your orgasm way more intense and out of this world.

6. Don’t Forget Your Nipples

NipplesApparently, your vagina is not the only part of your body that needs the royal treatment. If you really want to up your game in the masturbation battlefield, then pay extra attention to your nipples, too. Although every woman is different, your nipples are one of the erogenous zones in your body that can bring you incredible pleasure, especially when stimulated properly.

To help you better in this department, try to employ the services of nipple suckers, also known as suction cups for your nipples. This can make your nipples more sensitive and eventually help you get that big O. Nipple suckers also have a dual functionality, which means they can work with your clit too.

If you are brave enough to the point that you want to strike off something on must-try sex list, then go for nipple clamps or a clothespin. They can put pressure on your nipples while allowing your hands to wonder freely down south.

7. Be Finger Creative

FingerIf your trusty dildo decided to take a break, or your man decides to go MIA and you are too horny to function, then you have no choice but to rely on your good ol’ hands.

What you can do with your hands may not be the same for all women. However, here are some things you can do.

  • The Figure Eight – glide up, down and over the clitoral area while forming the number eight. This covers the inner labia and clitoris, a sure fire area that can give you a different kind of sensation.
  • Three Fingers Thrill – open up your labia using your index and ring finger. Then use your middle finger to stroke the tip of your clitoris. It’s up to you on how you want your strokes will be.
  • The Compass – open up your clitoral area using two fingers. Let these fingers explore your entire pleasure zone, moving from north to south and east to west.

8. Try A New Toy Called Thruster

Move over dildo. There is a new toy from Germany that imitates the motion of sex, which turns your solo session into a full lovemaking – no guys included.

A thruster has no actual vibration unlike dildos. However, it produces a vibration-like stimulation during the thrusting action, especially when you place it on a higher speed.

The good thing about this is that the thruster can also work with your trusted pocket best friend, especially when you need some clitoral stimulation.

Still, this doesn’t mean you should replace a real man with thrusters. That’s just not right.

9. Change Your Breathing Patterns

BreathingBelieve it or not, your breathing patterns says a lot when it comes to orgasms. In fact, there is a reason why there is so much emphasis on improving your breathing, especially when you take yoga or any other meditative classes.

Sex-wise, your breathing partners can also tell whether you can climax easily or not. When you’re in the verge of letting go that big O, holding your breath makes it harder for you to get to peak.

On the other hand, letting go and allowing the pleasure to run all over your body will make your orgasm different – in a good way.

Focus on your breath and the pleasure of being in the moment. It will make you appreciate orgasm even more.

10. Practice Makes Perfect

Practice makes perfectDid you know that during your alone time, you are actually teaching your body to orgasm multiple times when the right time comes?

Just because you never had multiple orgasms during sex, it doesn’t mean you can’t have it. This is one of the many purposes of masturbation.

Try to employ these techniques until you reach that peak. After letting go of that big O, stop, take a break and recharge yourself. Once you’re ready, get back into action.

Woody Allen once said that, “masturbation is sex with someone you love.” Use this alone time to attend to your personal needs and make your genital area feel that they deserve a royal treatment.