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8 Sex Tips That Could Put Your Man in the Hospital

10 years ago 5 minute read

If things have become boring in the bedroom, you may have tried some things and failed. You may have asked your closest friends for advice, or checked out some of your favorite magazines. Let’s face it, ladies like to compare notes. Whether it’s during a girl’s night out or a weekend getaway with the gals, sooner or later the topic comes around to sex.

This is not a bad thing; after all, the goal is the same – to please your man and add a little spice to your sex life. So, how do you bring out the sex freak in your man? No doubt you got quite a few interesting answers, but are they safe? The last thing you want to do is hurt your bedmate by using the wrong technique. Here are the top 8 sex tips you absolutely need to avoid at all costs:

1.    Dangerous Drop On Pop

This happens when a woman takes the top during sex and gets a wee bit too rough. If she comes down on her partner too hard, she can bend his penis accidentally when it hits her pelvic bone.

This can cause a penile fracture, which is a rip in one of the tube-shaped structures inside the penis that contain blood during the erection.

The penis may develop a strange curvature to it, and your man may even have extreme pain and difficultly urinating as a result. He may even become bruised or bleed. If this happens, he needs to go to the hospital emergency room immediately, because oftentimes surgery is necessary to prevent long-lasting penis problems.

2.    Twist And Shout

ShoutFor most men, it sounds good to imagine their partner taking both hands and wrapping them around their penis. Until the next step, which involves wringing it like a towel. Not. Don’t do this.

Not only can you inflict a serious “rug burn,” you could fracture or bend the penis in a way it wasn’t meant to go. This will not turn your man on, but instead send him running for the hills screaming like a woman all the way – or worse yet, the emergency room.

3.    Bite Me Not

BiteSome men think a gentle nibble on the scrotum is the way to go wild, but not really. Combining the act of biting with oral sex is never a good idea.

When the teeth come out, men usually retreat in the opposite direction, so save your chompers for the dinner table.

Even if the advice uses the word, “gentle” with “bite,” it is not going to work. Men don’t want sharp things within 50 miles of their scrotums, this is a fact.

4.    Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture

Pair of dice
Photo by Daniel Dionne / CC BY-SA

Squirrels shake trees to get the nuts down, not the other way around, so don’t violently shake your man’s balls or penis violently. A man’s genitals are not the equivalent of a pair of dice during a crap shoot.

They are living organs that are sensitive – yes, really sensitive. The last thing they want is to have their testicles ramming up against each other like ships in a stormy sea. This can be painful – and definitely not a turn on. Save the shaking for your next outing to the casino.

5.    Pull Hard On Those Pubes

Hair yanked
Photo by Stuart Pilbrow / CC BY-SA

Do you like having your hair yanked from its roots? If the hair on your head hurts when you pull it, imagine how much the hair on your genitals will hurt.

Never pull on someone’s crotch garden – unless you like the sound of screaming and pleading for mercy during sex. Not cool. Nope. They didn’t coin, “She got me by the short hairs,” for no good reason. It’s not a good thing.

6.    Hold The Pepper, Please

Photo by mcfarlandmo / CC BY

For most people, sneezing is not a fun thing, but somewhere down the line, someone decided that a sneeze is 1/7th part of an orgasm.

Some recommend the man sneezes, while others say it’s best for the woman to let loose during sexual intercourse; either way, the pepper mill doesn’t belong in the bedroom.

Sure, you lose control of yourself when you sneeze, but losing piles of germs and phlegm is not a sexy thing by any stretch of the imagination. And one wrong move, and you could cover both of you with nothing but sinus slime. This is not hot, this is downright gross.

7.    The Name Of The Game

JoystickWhy anyone would want to play with a penis like it’s a joystick is beyond the imagination.

Although it sounds rather benign compared to the others – surely biting, yanking, twisting and pulling hairs has got to be extremely painful for most men – using his member as you picture space invaders or tanks scrambling around a screen is, well, dangerous.

Aside from the demeaning aspect of objectifying your man, you could hurt him by moving too fast, or in the wrong direction. You want your fella to remember you for good reasons; not because you broke his member.

8.    Take A Stand – Not

Standing sexThere are many names for standing sex, but whatever you call it, it’s downright dangerous. Between the sweat and the bodily fluids, the situation can get – well, rather slippery.

Sure, he may say he can lift a 500-pound weight boastfully to get you in the sack, but if he drops you or you both fall, broken bones are in the forecast.

Not only that, he could hurt his back or worse. If you land too hard on his dick or happen to come down in the wrong direction, a fracture could ensue. Imagine explaining that to the ER nurse.

Although it’s important to have a zestful sex life, no one wants to land in the hospital just because they wanted to have a good time in the sack. You can please your man by communicating and listening.

And if you find you’re not feeling it anymore, consider a safe and natural solution containing herbs and nutritional supplements to get you back in the game, like those from You can get your groove back, but do it wisely, so you can live a happy, healthy life with your partner.