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Love Your Body: 10 Things SEXperts Say About Giving Yourself That First Orgasm

9 years ago 8 minute read

Everyone has heard about the mystical powers of the orgasm. You know, that magical, explosive, fantastical moment when all you experience is pure bliss. As much as we all would love to reach this pivotal moment of ecstasy as often as possible, many of us struggle with experiencing orgasms.

If you have never had an orgasm, then we highly suggest that you try these moves out yourself, for many different reasons. First and foremost, it is important that you get to know yourself well before anyone else can please you.

No one knows your body like you do, so once you find the sensation that you like best, then you can help relay this to your partner. Also, there is less stress and pressure when you are alone. We are sure your partner would love for you to orgasm, but if they put pressure on you to climax, then you may become nervous or overthink it too much.

Whether it’s nerves or inexperience, all of these obstacles can be overcome. Everyone is capable of having a mind-blowing orgasm, and we have created 10 ways to help you reach this desired moment of bliss for yourself.

1. Understanding the Biomechanics of an Orgasm

We don’t exactly fancy ourselves to be scientists, but we need to talk some basic biology to understand how your body orgasms, so that you can allow it to happen. This sounds pretty simple, but many women are not allowing their bodies to orgasm.

Kegel musclesIn order for your body to achieve an orgasm, two things must happen: you must remain relaxed, yet simultaneously tensed up. Seems paradoxical, right?

To some women, “relaxing in bed” may mean to just lay there and enjoy themselves, but relaxation without the tension will hardly ever lead to an orgasm. In contrast, a woman who is overworking herself and not relaxing her body will also not squeal in delight as much as she possibly could if she were to relax a bit.

Tensing up the muscles moments before climax is important because these muscles help stimulate blood flow and thus enhance arousal. Think about it: if you are tensing up the muscles near your genitals, then you are sure to be aroused, right? So, whenever you are looking to make yourself orgasm make sure you are relaxed, but that you also squeeze your buttocks, inner thighs and your kegel muscles. Kegels are the muscles that you use to keep yourself from peeing.

Understanding this paradox of remaining tense and relaxed simultaneously is key to ever achieving an orgasm, whether you are working with a partner or solo.

2. Meet Your New Best Friend: Lube

Photo by Paul Hurst / CC BY-SA

Often times, we associate lube with inadequacy. You might tell yourself that lube is only necessary if you are not turned on enough, but this just simply isn’t true. Lube is a great way to help you orgasm for a few different reasons.

Using lube with your fingers or a sex toy will help you reach that climax you are searching for. Lube helps ensure that your genitals will never dry out, because even in our most passionate moments this does unfortunately happen.

You can purchase scented lubricants that will help relax you with a passionate smell, or perhaps you are more interested in a lubricant that heats up. There are plenty of different kinds of lubricants out here to help you reach your orgasm, and we assure you that once you use it you will understand.

3. Meet Lube’s Best Friend: The Sex Toy

Sex ToyIn this day and age, blasé sex toys are a thing of the past. Did you know there are sex toys out there that can stimulate oral sex without the need for a partner?

If it’s an orgasmic experience you are looking for, then we highly encourage you to purchase some outside assistance.

In addition to the lube, look into a sex toy. If you want to keep it simple, then research some plain vibrators. Just know that there are some pretty intense options out there, so start simple and move your way up.

4. You Have Orgasmic Options

Did you know that there are many different kinds of orgasms? It is best to educate yourself on these different types, so that you can play around with all of them. Notably, the easiest to achieve and therefore most common orgasm is the vaginal orgasm.

OptionsThe vaginal orgasm, typically, is what everyone reverts to; however, there are three other types of orgasms, as well.

The clitoral orgasm is ideal for those seeking to pleasure themselves, but can also be reached during sex as well. Stimulating the clitoris feels great, but if you are looking to have a clitoral orgasm, then it is best to save pleasuring the clitoris until the end. While it will inarguably feel much more pleasurable if your partner touches it, you can also purchase a vibrating massager to help tantalize your clitoris.

The other two orgasms that are most popularly known are the blended and multiple orgasms. The blended orgasm is simply a combination of both the vaginal and clitoral orgasm, and the multiple orgasm is when you climax repeatedly in close proximity.

Now that you know about these different orgasms, try them all out for yourself.

5. Foreplay as Your Forte

Photo by Manu / CC BY

It might seem silly, but even if you are pleasuring yourself, you still must practice some foreplay.

The average woman takes 10 to 20 minutes to relax enough to prepare for an orgasm, so even if you are flying solo, you need to give yourself this amount of time.

For your first orgasmic experience, set up an area that will relax you. Light some candles, dim the lights and make yourself comfortable. Spend time touching yourself in all of your erogenous zones before you go in for the big O. You are more likely to reach it if you practice foreplay first.

6. You Can Do it if You Just Put Your Brain Into it

Use your brainWhile it is true that you can overthink and keep yourself from having an orgasm, it is necessary that you do still use your brain. Sounds silly, right? Well, what if we told you that your brain alone could lead you to orgasm.

It’s true. Studies have proven that your brain holds all the power you need to help you achieve an orgasm. Through a combination of breathing techniques, you can allow your body to focus solely on your own pleasure. The best part is you know what turns you on, so think about past encounters or encounters you wish could happen, and you very well could lead yourself to an orgasm led by the brain.

7.   …And Also Your Voice

Make noise
Photo by Paula Rey / CC BY

In addition to your brain allowing an orgasm to occur, your vocal cords play a major role too. While it might be intimidating to make noise in the bedroom, we highly encourage you give it a try.

In fact, different pitches bring orgasmic energy to different areas of your body. Higher pitch squeals of excitement will engage your vocal cords, throat, and head while a lower pitch moan will help engage, well, we’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

So, when you are working on reaching your first orgasm or if you are an experienced veteran looking to switch it up, then play with different pitches of your voice. We guarantee you will like the full body arousal you experience.

8. Multitask Your Way to a Better Orgasm

We know you have a lot going on in your mind when you are trying to have an orgasm, but being able to multitask can be beneficial.

When talking about erogenous zones and arousing your body, the age old adage “the more the better” rings true.

As your pleasuring yourself, make sure to remember that you have two hands. If you can activate multiple erogenous zones, then your orgasm is sure to intensify. For example, don’t forget about the nipples. Nipplegasms are a thing, believe it or not, so if you are able, then try to play with your nipples as you stimulate your lower lady parts.

9. Medical Conditions Can Put a Halt to Your Orgasms

Believe it or not, if you are having trouble reaching an orgasm, then it might be medically solvable.

DepressionVarious conditions, such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis, affect the body through different ways and may prove detrimental to your climax.

Depression and psychological conditions can also affect your ability to reach the big O. So, if you feel as though you have exhausted all options, then seek medical attention to receive the answers you have been looking for.

10. Other Interesting Options

If you are sure that a medical condition is not stopping you from reaching an orgasm, then there are various safe and effective means to help you reach an orgasm.

SupplementSometimes our bodies need more of a hormonal balance, whether from menopause or another kind of imbalance, and consulting help from a supplement is nothing to be ashamed of.

Libido can naturally increase and decrease over time, so if you want an extra spark in the bedroom then check out a reputable company, such as Here you will find a natural yet effective supplement that will make you more turned on and ready for action. Not only will you look forward to having sex more often, your sex will also be much more enjoyable.

Having a little additional help is never something to be ashamed of. Whether it’s the purchase of a supplement, a sex toy or a lubricant, you should never be bashful of your sexual desires. Orgasms can be simple once you understand your own body, and it may take some outside help in order for you to accomplish that.

So dim the lights, light the candles and start practicing.