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Breastfeeding and Libido: What Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You About Sex

10 years ago 10 minute read

It’s normal for new mothers to experience a lack of sex drive after their bundle of joy has arrived. The exhaustion of taking care of a new baby, bodily changes after giving birth, lack of sleep creates a cocktail of hormones all contribute to making a new mother attracted more towards her baby than her partner.

Bringing life into this world is a beautiful, as well as a life changing event for parents. The pleasure of holding your baby in your arms cannot be explained in words. A lot of emotional changes occur in a woman’s life during the first year of pregnancy.

It’s no wonder that many women suffer a few setbacks in their relationships. Worst of all, one of the major changes that these women experience is a significantly lower libido. The drastic changes that occur in a mother’s body after birth and breastfeeding can stir a certain amount of insecurity, fear, and vagueness.

A woman may not be interested in sharing the bed with her partner when she involved with her new found love. However, these changes are completely normal and there are various scientific reasons that explain why your sex drive may have gone on a mini-vacation while you have been catering your newborn.

There is no need to panic from your lack of interest to enjoy sex with your spouse. Here are reasons, options and helpful tips that you should know about your sex drive while breastfeeding:

The Impact of Breastfeeding on Your Once Blooming Sex Life

Sex LifeIt’s quite possible that a few breastfeeding mothers may not find much change in their sex life. And, they may look for ways to spend some quality time with their partner, just as they shared before child birth.

On the other hand, some may find it difficult to cope with the new adjustments and may not feel pretty excited to jump into bed to have cozy moments with their spouse.

Stop worrying if you are one of those with less or no interest in sex while breastfeeding your baby. All of these changes are temporary of course. You will soon find getting into the groove as your sexual interest and desires will indeed eventually return.

What Are the Causes of Low Sex Drive During Breastfeeding?

Although a natural phenomenon, most women wonder how breastfeeding can drastically make them a sexually boring person instead of their former sexual self. Here are the causes as to what makes women experience low libido during breastfeeding.

  • Your Body Secretes Less Estrogen

EstrogenBreastfeeding mothers have little to no cervical mucus because of the absence of ovulation, which in turns lowers their levels of estrogen. This allows arousal to become more difficult.

Vaginal dryness becomes a major hurdle during sexual sessions that makes intimacy less pleasurable for them, as well. Women may experience painful penetration because of less vaginal lubrication, too.

What You Can Do: Consider using a water-based lubrication to combat vaginal dryness. If you are experiencing uneasiness during sexual intercourse, then you should ask your doctor about an estrogen cream. Your partner may also try varying sexual postures to make sex more comfortable. Also, let your partner know to play it slow and safe, as you may take more time to get ignited. After all, this is not such a bad idea to get yourself pampered for a longer time.

  • You Are Exhausted

Photo by Oleg Sidorenko / CC BY

Being a new mother is a daunting task. Usually, mothers don’t get adequate rest because they are waking up for feedings during the night and then taking care of their little one during the day.

They are so tired and exhausted, that sex is the most irritating word they may want to hear, let alone discuss.

What You Can Do: You may try getting some rest during the day. It’s best to have a power nap along with your baby in the afternoon. This will leave you less dog-tired later in the evening. Your partner, family, and older children can help to look after the baby while you doze and get relaxed.

It is also extremely beneficial to eat right and exercise. If exercising is something you are not really interested in at this point, then you should fill your body with nutritious and healthy foods. There are numerous dietary supplements available on the market, which are exclusively designed to cater to the needs of breastfeeding mothers. Additionally, these supplements may also help to increase the milk supply, which keeps you going.

  • Painful and Leaking Breasts Make You Embarrassed

Painful and Leaking BreastsSex during breastfeeding can cause breast milk to ooze out of your breasts. This can be embarrassing for both partners, especially if they are not aware that it can happen.

Furthermore, painful nipples and engorged breasts may sometimes push the thought of having sex to the back burner.

What You Can Do: If you are willing to indulge in sex during breastfeeding, it’s best to let your partner know the type of changes your body is going through. You may suggest that he keeps your breasts out of play during sex-business until you wean. Definitely, he may not like to have a taste for your breast milk, unless and until he has a hidden fantasy for being breastfed.

If your breasts are tender and sore, check with your gynecologist for assistance, if needed. You may also consider wearing a supportive bra to support your painful breasts during sex. Putting nursing pads inside of your nursing bra will also help to prevent leaks from becoming a hurdle during your sack session. Some women prefer pumping their breast milk just before any love-making activity to prevent leakage.

  • Medicines Make Your Sex Drive Crazy

MedicinesWomen who are on medicines such as anti-depressants usually have messed-up sex drives and orgasms. Various types of oral contraceptives may also interfere with your sexual life and make you sexually inactive.

What You Can Do: It’s best to consult your doctor if you are on certain kind of medications during breastfeeding. Your doctor may suggest some safer alternative medicines.

  • Prolactin May Lower Your Sex Drive

Pregnancy and child birth is a miraculous journey. After delivery, the body of a mother secretes nutritious breast milk, which helps to make her baby healthy and strong.

ProlactinThe hormone prolactin, which is produced during breastfeeding, is responsible for meddling with your sex drive. When a woman feeds her baby, her body produces more milk and suppresses the process of ovulation. This process is essential for the health of your baby and for preventing an early pregnancy.

What You Can Do: Secretion of a prolactin hormone is a natural phenomenon and it would only regularize once you will wean your baby. So, wait for the right time.

  • Body Image Concerns Run Wild

Usually, women are conscious of their bodies after giving birth. Stretch marks, weight gain, saggy and leaky breasts, are all enough to make her feel less attractive.In addition, with the hectic schedule and less energy, she has little time to visit a beauty salon to get her eyebrows and waxing done. When you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s likely you will feel less sexy and less interested in getting into the mood that is necessary for love sessions.

Well-balanced dietWhat You Can Do: If you think your growing weight is stopping you from getting intimate with your partner, try eating a well-balanced diet, so that you remain energetic and healthy while losing weight in a safe manner.

If possible, spare a few minutes each day to get your body moving to increase your energy, lighten your mood, lose weight, and help you feel good about yourself. Exercise releases good hormones that help to keep you calm and serene.

To prepare for a romantic evening, you can ask your spouse to look after the baby while you can take a refreshing shower and get ready in a sexy outfit. You may put light makeup on and style your hair. Looking beautiful will definitely enhance your spirits and set you in the right mood for the approaching evening.

Sexy outfitSometimes it’s mostly in your head. To make things easier, you may discuss with your partner how you feel about yourself post-pregnancy. You have gone through various challenges to bring a beautiful baby into your lives. There is no way he may want to love you less with your bulky weight and stretch marks. Your considerate and caring partner would try to reassure you and make you feel better and loved.

So, When You Will Notice An Increase In Your Libido?

We have listed enough causes for compromised sex drive in breastfeeding women. Well, as we said earlier, these changes are not permanent. With time, your wayward hormones will balance out and regularize your menstrual cycle.

GynecologistYou will find an increase in your sex drive as soon as you begin to ovulate again. Some women experience healthy sexual feelings after baby has weaned. The duration for hormone balancing may vary from woman to woman, and depends on numerous factors. If your libido has not returned to normal even after weaning, then you may want to visit your gynecologist to have your hormone levels checked. A skilled naturopath may also help you balance your hormones naturally.

Just An Informed Opinion: Breastfeeding is an important part of motherhood. Apart from helping your baby have a good physical shape, it helps with weight loss and decreases your risks of afflicting with various threatening ailments, including breast cancer. Do not try to wean early just to get your sex drive back. Your baby won’t be breastfeeding forever. He will grow soon and you both will have enough time for each other.

How to Pacify Your Partner

Lack of sex driveLack of sex drive in women can give a serious blow to a beautiful relationship. Most women find themselves culprits for making excuses every time their partners ask for sex.

Although some men understand the situation, they still feel unloved and excluded. Most mothers also find their partners pressuring them for sex and when that does not happen, they start taking less interest in their women.

Usually, men forget that they have a small baby to care for who needs all of her mother’s attention. Accordingly, it becomes highly essential to remind your partner that breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby. And, the side effects you are going through because of this are only a small pay off for now. Soon, this period will be over and you will have your love life back. You should let your partner know that lack of libido for breastfeeding mothers is temporary and has nothing to do with your feelings towards them.

What You Can Do to Get Started Sexually

What You Can Do to Get Started SexuallyWelcoming a newborn and catering to their needs can be a wonderful experience for both parents. But, unfortunately, some men fail to understand this and miss those wonderful times that never return. If men are concerned enough not to rush or pressure their mate to perform in bed, then they can create a more powerful emotional bonding between each other.

Overtime and with patience, they will find their woman’s natural desire for sex returning. After that you only have to jump other obstacles, like having sex while managing work, the house and the children. So, guys be understanding, and have patience – her libido will return again, for sure.

Women should also keep in mind that they don’t have to always rush to bed to be intimate. It’s vital to keep fostering the relationship through all the ups and downs.

Essential oilsSo, you may express your love and care in other ways such as holding hands, pecking on his cheeks, massaging him with essential oils, bathing together, cuddling up and watching a movie together and giving him a back rub.

The most important thing is that you have to spice up the things a little bit, and soon you will both find yourselves landing in bed. Lots of cuddling, foreplay, and lubrication will make things erotic and easier for you, as well.

If you find things are still at the same stage and you are struggling with lack of sex, don’t hesitate to try a natural formula, such as female enhancement supplements from These supplements are designed exclusively for women with lack of sex drive. And, the best part is these are completely natural and safe to use.