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Sexual Desire: 6 Ways Men and Women Are Like Apples and Oranges          

8 years ago 8 minute read

Chances are that you have caught on to the fact that you and your male partner do not have too much in common. From grooming habits to sex drives, you two are hardly on the same page. Yet, the two of you are in a committed relationship and you want to make it work.

In truth, once the two of you understand the differences between you, your connection will certainly reach a level that is unbreakable, both in and out of the bedroom.

Here are six ways that you and your man are quite different when it comes to sexual desires.

1. Your Hormones Aren’t Helping At All

Photo by CCoil / CC BY-SA

It’s no secret that hormonal influences affect your sex drive. Your man does not contain the same hormones pumping through his veins, so naturally the two of you will have different sexual desires.

Testosterone fuels sex drive. In men, testicles and adrenal glands form this sex hormone for men. On the other hand, ovaries produce testosterone in women. While many people assume this sex hormone is only present in men, it is also a part of the female sex drive, as well.

Men might have more testosterone present in their systems; however, the female body is much more sensitive to testosterone. Therefore, the female system does not need as much testosterone as a man’s system does.

StressTestosterone does affect sex drive, but many other factors are involved, as well. These factors include general health and well being, prescription medications, stress or anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Relationship factors and sexual functioning also play a role in sex drive.

In addition, female hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle play a major role as well. During ovulation, a woman’s estrogen soars causing her sex drive to go through the roof.

Hormones are not the only difference, though. There are quite a few psychological factors to take into consideration, too.

2. You’re Not Psychologically Synchronized, Either

Many factors can influence the psyche, including culture, personal upbringing, and social influence, such as religion or affluence. Because of these psychological facts, women face intense moral pressures, which makes it difficult for her to separate sex from an emotional connection.

This separation, however, is common in most men. This explains why it is easier for a man to have sex with a woman with whom he is not in love. Vice versa, a woman will usually feel guilty or shameful about having multiple partners.

Sexual history plays a major role in a person’s sex drive. Of course, if there is anything negative involved, for example sexual abuse or a negative experience, it will affect a woman’s sex drive in a detrimental way. While one can overcome these experiences, they affect the sexual psyche, nonetheless.

Furthermore, men and women tend to view sex different,too. Men, psychologically speaking, tend to be much more impulsive with their sexual experiences. Women, on the other hand, are more prompted by arousal and sexual desire for their partner. Some factors that you cannot control, but are inevitably different, include age.

3. Age Is More Than Just A Number When It Comes To Sexual Desire

Ages for sexual maturity differ between men and women. Sexual desire first begins at puberty for men.

PubertyAt this age, boys begin to masturbate and this sex drive contributes to develop until around the age of 50. At this point, andropause, or a reduction in testosterone, sets in and men usually see a decline in libido.

Women, on the other hand, tend to experience a blast in sexual desire around their 30’s. Some women claim to experience this increase in sexual desire in their late 20’s and others in their mid-30’s. However, the inarguable fact is that women are late sexual bloomers compared to their male cohorts.

sexually matureIt takes a woman much longer to bloom and become sexually mature, as compared to men. In addition, sexual maturity and libido for women increases with time and experience. During menopause, a woman’s levels of estrogen decrease, and therefore her libido might take a hit. However, since psychological factors are involved, menopause is not necessarily the be all and end all-be all for a woman’s sex drive.

In addition to these psychological and physiological differences, men and women differ as far as sexual interest, as well.

4. You Want It At Different Times

sexually in tune in the morningNow this is generally speaking of course, but for the most part, men are more sexually in tune in the morning, and women take a little longer to build up their sexual interests.

The male testosterone levels are at a high level of 30 percent first thing in the morning. This promotes energy, which men require to enjoy sex. Women, on the other hand, generally need to feel relaxed and calm when getting in the mood, so the pique opportunity for a woman to enjoy sex is in the evening.

sensual time in the eveningClearly, these two times clash. Men want to do it early in the morning and are generally too tired in the evening. On the contrast, women are too busy in the morning to fully enjoy sex and would much rather savor sensual time in the evening.

The times you both are interested in sex is not the only difference you two have when it comes to wanting sex. Your man more than likely thinks about sex much more than you.

5. He Thinks About It Much, Much More

Guys think about sexScientists are beginning to understand the female sex drive more and more, but the age-old theory of men craving sex all of the time still rings true.

It is absolutely a myth that guys think about sex every seven seconds. However, he definitely thinks about it quite a few times per day.

Generally speaking, men think about sex up to 20 times per day. How do women compare to this statistic? Researchers found that women have sexy thoughts close to 10 times a day. So, the chances are that your man thinks about sex twice as much as you throughout the day.

6. Men Desire Differently

Have you ever noticed that your man spontaneously wants sex, and you take a little more to get ready for sex? This is because men and women desire differently.

Spontaneous desireThere is a distinct difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Most men are able to crave sex spontaneously. He is at work, but all he is thinking about is having sex with you.

You,instead, might take a little bit of arousal to get into the mood. A nibble on the neck, a sexy text message, or looking up sex positions might help you to really get into the mood.

Understanding these different types of desires is vital if you want to bring your two sexual differences together. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who does not spontaneously crave sex. Just because he thinks about and wants it all day long does not mean that you should be doing the same. Most women desire in a responsive way, whereas men are more spontaneous in their sexual desires.

All hope is not lost, despite these six differences. There are still some ways that you can bring your two quite different sexual worlds together.

How Can You Get On The Same Page?

How Can You Get On The Same Page?Inarguably, you would love to have you and your man to be on the same sexual page. While you two certainly have racked up some sexual differences, there is no reason as to why you both cannot make it work between the two of you.

Here are some ways to make sure that, despite your differences, you both can get your sexual interests on the same page.

  • Give And Take

So he wants morning sex, and you want to do it in the evening. Have the best of both worlds by making each other happy. Maybe you can have a cup of coffee first thing, and he can stay awake long enough to satisfy you before bed.

  • Get Your Sexy On

It’s no secret now that he craves sex more than you. Get your sexy on by getting into a sexy mood and surprising him with your new found mindset. Chances are that he will be thrilled with your spontaneous desire.

Get Your Sexy OnRemember, though, that it might take some responsive desire to get you to that state of arousal. Try reading an erotic novel, sending him some racy text messages, or even using a natural lubricant from a trustworthy company, like for a special boost.

Lubricant allows for easier penetration and thrusting, which helps to build the drive you both need to orgasm. Besides, the additional slipperiness makes you feel even more aroused, because it adds to the moisture caused by real arousal.If you are going to consult the additional help of lubricants or any other natural supplement for sexual arousal, then be sure to speak with your physician before use.

It might take a little additional help to get your sensuous feelings on, but once both of your desires are on the same page then your energies will be through the roof.

  • Eliminate the Factors That You Can Control

Eat healthyAs previously stated, stressors, mental conditions, and lethargy can kill your sex drive. Do your best to rest up, eat healthy, exercise and speak to a professional whenever you feel it is necessary.

You and your man might differ greatly when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that the two of you can’t come together for amazing sexual experiences. After all, opposites attract. If the two of you were exactly the same, then where would the fun in that be?

Learn about your partner’s sex drive, and watch as you create a new, refreshing sex life between the two of you.