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6 Things Ladies Can Do to Discover Their Sexual Side 

9 years ago 8 minute read

Gone are the days of women feeling as though they should not have any sexual prowess in bed. More and more, you hear about women who take charge in the bedroom, and men love it. No one wants a lump of a partner who lays there on the bed doing nothing, but pretending to have a good time. Instead, modern women have become the kind of lover their partners long for.

If you consider yourself relatively shy both in and out of the bedroom, and you are looking to channel your inner bad girl, then look no further. Here we talk about six ways to discover that inner dominatrix inside of you. Okay, well you don’t have to go that far, but let’s talk about ways to become more sexual in the bedroom.

Increasing your sexual prowess in the bedroom can help your intimate relationship grow stronger. All of these tips will help you become sexual, as long as you are in a comfortable and committed relationship.

1. Ready, Set, Go

It sounds corny and cliché, but you have to be ready to become more sexual on your own. This has to be your own decision.

Ask yourselfIt will not be authentic or genuine if you are forcing it just because your partner is begging you. You have to make the choice to learn about your sexual self and have better sex. Do not let anyone talk you into it.

This might sound silly, but it will definitely help. Have a conversation with yourself. Ask yourself the following questions.

  • Why do I want to become more sexual?
  • Will I become anxious or nervous, or can I do this confidently?

Once you can honestly answer these questions with yourself, then you are ready to continue. The next step involves a mirror and your vagina.

2. Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Whose The Fairest Vagina Of Them All?

Take a deep breath, walk to your closest mirror, and let’s do this. Position yourself so that you can clearly see your own vag.

Examine yourselfThis might require you to spread eagle the sink, or you if you have a pocket mirror, then you can sit on the toilet and examine yourself. It might sound silly, but if you can’t fulfill this step then you might not be ready to become more sexual. Once you’re comfortably looking at your lower lips, you have to examine yourself. Remember that everyone is different.So, if you have the image of an ideal vagina in your head, and yours doesn’t take the cake, then fear not. Vaginas come in all different shapes and sizes. So, appreciate and love your own.

Your first step is to locate your outer lips. These are the two lips that are noticeable from the outside of your body. Now, fold them back and locate your inner lips. These are not noticeable from the outside. Next, locate your clitoris. This is located right at the top of your inner lips. If you stimulate your own clitoris, then it should become more prominent.

Recognize that almost all orgasms come from clitoral stimulation; hence, it is imperative for you to know where your clitoris is located and how you can make it feel pleasurable. Speaking of clitoral pleasure, let’s have an entire section devoted to self-pleasure.

3. Become The Master Of Your Own Orgasms

OrgasmChances are, if you are pretty shy in the bedroom, then you have never truly experienced an orgasm. Perhaps you think you have, but let’s make one thing clear.

If you have ever had an orgasm, then you’ll know. There is no grey area. Sure, not every orgasm will be lightening striking and fireworks blaring, but it will be something pretty spectacular.

In order to be a rock star in the bedroom, you have to be able to make yourself orgasm. Be sure to do us all a favor and never fake anything. How can your partner know how to pleasure you, if you aren’t even honest with yourself? This only leads to dissatisfaction for the both of you. Do not be embarrassed if your partner seems frustrated that they cannot help you reach your peak. Instead, be honest with them. If you tell them that you never have, then we guarantee that they will make it their lifelong journey to make sure you get there.

Photo by Robert McDonald / CC BY

You have to explore with your own body first before you even think about inviting someone else to get in on the fun. Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of nowadays. In fact, pleasuring yourself is pivotal if you are looking to become more sexual in the bedroom. What better way to get to know your body than to be intimate with yourself?

It is quite normal to masturbate. In fact, many stores now sell self-pleasure vibrators and sex toys. It is highly advisable to purchase a nice, dependable vibrator for yourself. If you are pretty intimidated, then go for something like a pocket rocket. Something small that is not threatening can still help you reach a great orgasm.

The first step is to set the mood, yes even if it’s for your own benefit. We know, this sounds impeccably cheesy, but it’s actually quite important. Make certain you are alone and in a place where you are at ease. Perhaps this is the bathtub, however take care that your vibrator is waterproof. You can be on your own bed as well; especially of you are all alone in your home. Maybe put some light music on and light a few candles to help you relax.

light a few candlesMost women begin by simply rubbing the vibrator on the outside of the vagina. Allow the vibrator to gently hum against your outer lips. Run it up and down, even on your inner thighs.

Don’t think that you have to be sticking something inside your vagina for it to be pleasurable. Instead, take your time and explore the outside before diving in. Once you are ready, work your way into your vagina slowly. When you’re ready, thrust deeply into yourself and explore.

Do not force yourself to orgasm. Instead, slowly move around and find what feels good. Find your clitoris again, find your deep spot, move your body and allow yourself to make some personal notes about what feels best. As you become more confident in your own self-pleasure, you will practice more and more. You will find yourself longing to practice, and eventually you will reach that orgasm.

Self-pleasure is the first big step, and for a few that might be all you need to automatically become more confident and sexual in the bedroom. However, for those girls looking to really become sexual ladies in the bedroom, keep reading.

4. Familiarize Yourself With Porn

PornPorn comes in many shapes and sizes. You can watch video porn, or you can read erotica. Either way, you need some visuals about something that turns you on.

The truth of the matter is that most men have higher libidos because they are so interested in porn. Once you start exploring and becoming more curious, you will find your sexual thirst and you will seek to quench it more often.

Porn can become your best friend both in and out of the bedroom. You can pick up tips and tricks from porn. You can learn more about foreplay, different positions, and what most people do during sex in general. Don’t emulate most porn stars too much, though. The dramatic baby talk and ooh-ing is generally a little too much in the average person’s bedroom.

If you are really shy but want to give porn a try, then let your partner know about it. Let them know that you want to know what they watch, and we guarantee your partner will love to show you the ropes. Perhaps it can be a new adventure for the both of you.

5. Look The Part To Feel The Part

Sexy clothingPurchasing and wearing sexy clothing can work wonders for both you and your partner. Men in general function off of visual stimulation.Therefore, seeing you in something sexy will certainly rev his engine quite a bit.

Whether it is a type of fabric, such as silk, that makes you feel sexy, or actual lingerie, and give it a try. Never make excuses for yourself. Give it a try, and if you don’t like it, try something else, instead. Remember, if you are in a committed relationship, and you genuinely want to make it a more sexual relationship, then you’ll want to try these new things.

6. Don’t Forget The Romance

Definitely, you are women, and you never forget the romance, right? Wrong. The last key to becoming more sexual in the bedroom is to put on your big girl pants and romance him.If you sit around waiting for your partner to initiate romance, then you will never be a strong, sexual partner.

Initiate romanceInstead, set the mood, so that your partner can get the hint. Send a sexy text or picture, dim the lights, put out some wine, and be sure you have a connection before hitting the sheets.

Put on some music and make the first move. Let your partner know about all of the things you have been up to. We guarantee you that they will be pleasantly surprised.

If you find that you are just not feeling extremely sexual, then there is one more possibility for you. Women who feel as though they have low libidos typically benefit from a little assistance in the form of a gel. There are many safe and natural female enhancement gels available, such as those found at,to help women feel sexier.

You and your partner deserve to explore a more sexual relationship. Once you take the plunge and go for it, there will be no turning back. And there’s no way you will want to once you discover your sexual side come to life. Becoming more sexual only strengthens your relationships and makes you a much more confident woman.