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8 Reasons Why She May Hold Back on Sex

10 years ago 10 minute read

Yes, it’s true: men are always ready to start a fire in the bed, but the majority of women are always there to dampen it. At some point in their lives, most women find themselves running away and making silly excuses just to escape lovemaking. It’s perfectly fine to skip cuddling with your partner once in a while, but when skipping sex becomes a routine for a long stretch, things can become pretty messy.

Some of the reasons women give to say they don’t want to have sex include: “I’m tired and need to wake up early tomorrow,” “I ate too much today,” “I just had a shower and don’t want to get soaked again,” and “I just watched a really sad movie.” If your woman is also making up such excuses, it’s time to take the warning and do something to make her fall head over heels over you again.

Here are some of the trivial excuses as to why your woman may throw you a frown and say, “Not tonight dear.”

1. She Is Grrrr…. Angry, So Cool Her Down

AngryA big reason why your woman may not feel like having sex with you is unresolved anger or resentment.

Although she simply rejects to have cozy moments with you by quickly blabbering, “I’m not in the mood,” she may be withholding sex just because she is pissed off by something you said or did.

And, makeup sex is not always the best solution for her resentment. Oftentimes, bitterness issues are long-standing and feel unresolvable. The woman feels distant from her man, and as a result harbors feeling of sullenness and annoyance.

The only solution to this issue is communication. Talk calmly with your partner in order to resolve complications and eliminate antipathies. It is important to clear the haze on a regular basis to maintain happiness and steadiness in a relationship. If you are unable to bring the matter up yourself, get help from your family and friends, or go for couple’s counseling.

2. She Doesn’t Feel Loved, So Make Her Feel Special

Doesn’t Feel LovedThe initial years of every relationship are consistent of a more physical nature than emotional. Usually, sex is a part of a daily routine for newly-connected partners. They find ways to get intimate with each other in spite of their hectic schedule, headaches or anger.

However, if you find your woman lacks interest in sharing a bed with you, not as before, chances are that she is no longer in love with you. In such cases, it is not because of children or her low-libido, but because the so-called love, or should we say, infatuation, has dwindled.

Why do such situations arise? Maybe you have started treating her badly, so she has no desire to be intimate with you. Or perhaps, she was not at all in love with you in the first place. If the problem is your behavior towards her, then it’s important that you treat her lovingly. Women are naturally emotional and expect respect, loyalty and trust from their partners.

Treat her like a queenIf your woman is truly in love with you, and you treat her like a queen – or to be precise, you treat her the way she deserves to be treated – then the essence of sex will never die down. It will only become stronger with time. She needs to feel that strong emotional bond, and when that is missing, her interest in having sex with her partner gradually disappears.

3. She Is Bored of Routine Sex, So Try Something Innovative

One of the common reasons why women start kicking their men out of bed seem very obvious –  the sex is not as intense as before, and the repeated sex stances and actions seem mediocre.

Why would she come back for more if it’s not good in the first place?

Bored of Routine SexLadies, it’s possible that your man is dealing with sexual health issues, such as erectile dysfunction and is unable to stay active for a long time. Instead of letting him you know what’s wrong, he may try to hide it, making you prefer not sharing the sheets with him. If you realize your woman is experiencing boredom in the bedroom, it’s time you start working on touching, caressing and improving the quality of sex. Talking sensuously during sex is also important for rekindling the sexual feelings for your woman.

You can find lots of sexual positions, tips and techniques on the Internet to help enhance your art of lovemaking. So guys, without delaying more, learn innovative sex-making skills that can please your damsel and leave her longing for more.

4. She Doesn’t Find You Attractive, So It’s Time To Groom Yourself 

Are you in so much of a hurry to get intimate that you skip brushing your teeth before kissing and showering before touching?

Doesn’t Find You AttractiveDo you walk around the house wearing your worn-out pajamas? Have you put on weight? Is your beer belly preventing you from being able to see your feet?

If yes to any of these questions, then all of these things can cause havoc in your sexual life. Oftentimes, women complain how their men have stopped taking care of themselves after they start living together under one roof.

Once partners are together, they often get indolent about their appearance and hygiene. This is particularly true for men. Women usually complain that their partners come in bed all sweaty and smelling. These are not complicated issues to address and discuss with a partner. Feasibly, that’s why your woman is unable to let you know to your face about your dragon breath and sweaty armpits.

appearance and hygieneIf you suspect that your woman is swaying her head left and right while you are trying to smooch her, take that as a caveat and try using breath freshener and good deodorant the next time you lip lock and body lock.

5. She Is Worried the Kids Will Wake Up, So Plan Time for Just the Two Of You

“The kids may wake up.” You may have heard this several times from your woman. It’s a fact: once women have kids to look after they direct most of their energy towards raising them.

Children become the focus of their life and they find it an easy excuse to sideline the desires of their husband.

ChildrenAlso, if you live in a joint family or have two to three children to cater to, it becomes fairly natural to indulge less frequently in lovemaking sessions. Also, women are more concerned of their image in front of children and other family members as compared to men.

Of course, nobody would like to be caught unguarded in a gawky position when suddenly one of the kids starts looking for his mom in the middle of the night.

For men: if you think your wife is deeply engrossed with the children, you may want to plan some exciting outing on weekends for just the two of you. Send your kids to their grandparents or a close friend, so that you both can have some quality time together. Believe me, your girl will definitely cherish those moments away from playing mommy for some hours. You may also plan a late-night sack session at your home when your children are sleeping; however ensure to keep it soft.

6. She is Tired, So Pamper Her

exhaustedPlease darling, “I have been working all day long and I’m dead tired now.” A recent survey has discovered that more than eighty percent of women give this reason to get rid of their sex-demanding partners. Although legitimate, if you hear this reason time and time again, it’s time for a talk.

You both may be exhausted at the end of the day; however, the fact is that sex is a real stress buster. It fills the brain with relaxing chemicals like oxytocin, which tranquilize the brain and help you sleep peacefully.

Since many of us are working longer hours than before, it is no surprise that she is just too darn tired. Also, with the life demands of the day, she just can’t keep her energy up and enjoy sex as often you would like.

To get her back with you under the sheets, try pampering her with a relaxing treatment beforehand. Draw her a rejuvenating bath and offer to give her an invigorating massage. When she is unperturbed, she will more likely feel erotic. However, if your pampering has shoved her to sleep, have patience. She may come back to you with her sexy lingerie another time to return the favor. 

7. She Is Having Her Period, So, Become Her Best Pal

“I’m having my period now, unless you don’t mind the horrid blood.” This is one of the major excuses most women give to avoid getting spicier in bed.

Menstrual crampsIf she is not faking, you should cooperate with her, because menstrual cramps, an aching body, and heavy bleeding can turn out to be a huge mess in the bed.

She may feel like curling up on a sofa, sipping some soothing tea, and watching her favorite show.

Although most women hate the idea of having sex session during periods, science reveals that sex during those uncomfortable days of the month helps to enhance the mood, reduce pain and burn calories.

Even so, if a woman is not ready to get cozy during periods, men should be extra caring and attentive towards them. It’s soothing to become her pal and try comforting her with your attention and sweet words.If you secretly desire to have sex even during her periods, try making her feel special, caress her with your sensuous gestures, and concentrate on making her feel erotic.

Maybe she may get turned on by your elite handling. Even if she doesn’t, once she’s feeling better, she will most likely remember your kindness and return the favor.

 8. She Has Got a Headache, So It’s Time For a Head Massage

Photo by Avenue G / CC BY

“I have a headache.” This is such a common one-liner used by many women just before sex.

Actually this doesn’t work anymore, because studies have shown that sex can relieve headaches by releasing chemicals into the brain that work as a pain reliever.

If she complains of a headache once in a while, it’s okay. That means it’s a genuine excuse – we mean reason.

However, if the same reason is repeating every time you initiate sex with her, take it as an excuse and just decode this excuse into her simply avoiding getting intimate with you.

Have a talk with her to find out what’s really going on.Whether she is faking or not, try to be extra gentle with her. Give her a head massage and during massaging, start playing with her hair and caress her neck. Possibly, she will forget about her pain and get involved with you sexually.

Head massage
Photo by o5com / CC BY

Mismatched urges to have sex are a source of incompatibility for many couples. Naturally, women are sexually sluggish as compared to men. For the men who are sexually active, it can be disappointing and frustrating to no longer having their sexual desires met, specifically when they find sex as a way to relax those tired muscles and to connect emotionally, as well. To bridge the gap, couples should communicate about their sex life and what it means to them.

Most women who realize they will never get turned on as often as their men find ways, such as making mindless excuses to turn them off. Women who duck sex may not even recognize how often they squash down their partner’s whims. Is this solution going to work? No.

But, the chances are, your guy might look for other options to satisfy their urges. So, why not work on getting over your sexual starvation mode?

If you are one of those women finding some lame excuse to run away from stripping and enjoying blissful moments with your partner, then a women’s enhancement supplement from is a perfect answer for you. Try it soon and we are sure you will likely discover some silly excuses to spend more quality time with your partner in bed.