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Vaginismus: 5 Painless Ways for Women to Seek Help for Their Agony

8 years ago 10 minute read

Vaginismus is the name of a condition in women that involves excessive tightening of the vagina. This can lead to difficulties and pain during sex, along with various other pains and burning sensations.

ChildbirthIn some cases, it can be impossible for women suffering from vaginismus to have sex at all. The condition itself involves an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles, causing the vagina to tighten.

The pelvic floor muscles are involved in a numerous different processes, including urination, childbirth and sexual intercourse. Without proper control of these muscles, women can encounter a lot of difficulties with these normal body processes.

Indeed, vaginismus is one of the top causes of relationship problems, as patients suffer too much pain to enjoy sex. Affected women may subsequently struggle with stress, depression and lack of self-confidence due to the presence of this condition.

DepressionIt’s therefore vital for us to state that it is not your fault if you have vaginismus. There is a lot of confusion around this condition, but people should know that the contraction of the pelvic muscles is completely involuntary. This means that women who suffer from this problem have no control over their muscles.

The muscles simply respond in their own way. Naturally, this can cause problems in a relationship, as men can feel rejected and even despondent. Meanwhile, women can become emotional and miserable at the idea of being unable to enjoy a healthy sex life with their partner.

Primary Causes Of Vaginismus

The causes of vaginismus are varied and numerous. Let’s learn about some of the main causes of this painful condition.

  • A Negative Sexual Education

Studies are ongoing to truly determine what makes vaginismus appear, but research has shown that poor sexual educations can be responsible. If girls are brought up to believe that sex is unnatural or sinful, their bodies can react negatively to sexual intercourse.

Some women with vaginismus were raised to believe that sex was a taboo subject. In certain cases, a person’s religious or cultural upbringing can be a big factor in the development of this condition.

  • Poor Knowledge Of The Female Anatomy

Women’s bodies are complicated, even for women. Many ladies simply don’t take the time to truly get to know the way their sexual organs work, and this can lead to numerous issues. If you don’t know your own body, then you may struggle to understand its capacities. In some cases, women believe that their vaginas are excessively tight and small because they haven’t actually explored them by themselves. This conviction can cause vaginismus.

  • Insurmountable Fears

Mental issuesFear of sexual intercourse is a big contributor to the onset of vaginismus. Other fears can equally be responsible, like a fear of pregnancy, vaginal damage and more. Like a lot of sexual problems, stress and mental issues can cause vaginismus.

If you stress about sex too much, then your body can subconsciously respond by preventing any penetration from occurring.

  • Temporary Unresolved Relationship Issues

A difficult relationship can leave long-lasting effects on a woman. If you have met difficulties like unfaithfulness, abuse, intense anxiety or other stressful experiences in the past, these things might be responsible for the condition.

  • Sexual Abuse or Early Traumatic Sexual Experiences
Sexual Abuse
Photo by Zorah Olivia / CC BY

Problematic sexual experiences can severely affect the victims involved. If a woman suffers some form of sexual abuse at any point in her life then vaginismus is a relatively common occurrence.

Even verbal abuse can have this sort of effect. In addition, if a woman has bad experiences the first few times she had sex, then this may cause her body to begin rejecting the act of sexual intercourse.

  • Medical Conditions

Certain diseases and conditions can trigger the onset of vaginismus. For example, urinary infections like cystitis, yeast infections, STDs, cancer, psoriasis and many other problems can occur.

Injuries to the pelvic region or surgery in this area can also cause vaginismus. Some medications may even be responsible for the development of vaginal tightening.

The Symptoms Of Vaginismus

Avoidance of sexThere are various symptoms associated with vaginismus. The most common problems include a painful burning sensation during sexual intercourse, difficulty having sex, discomfort around the vaginal region and difficulty inserting tampons.

The indirect symptoms of this problem include stress, depression, the avoidance of sex, relationship issues and much more.

There are also two main types of vaginismus that we will look at in detail below.

1. Primary Vaginismus

This is when a woman encounters vaginismus the first time she tries to have sex. Penetration will be practically impossible and this issue can lead to the breakup of relationships and marriages.

2. Secondary Vaginismus

Breakup of relationships and marriagesThis is when women has had a perfectly normal sex life, and then encounter vaginismus later on. The causes of this condition are usually easier to identify as the woman can pinpoint the moment in her life when the problem began.

Vaginismus Is Treatable

Fortunately, if you are suffering from vaginismus, you still have some hope. Proper treatment, patience and efforts can cure this condition and you will be able to enjoy a healthy and happy sex life once again. Many women recover from this problem without the need for any drugs, surgery or other unpleasant methods.

Let’s look At Some Of The Best Ways To Deal With Vaginismus

1. Get To Your Doctor As Soon As Possible

Health care providerThe first thing you should do if you are experiencing any pain in the vaginal area is to visit a health care provider. Professionals are the best people to give you advice and help in times of need.

A gynecologist will be able to identify the problem and answer any queries you might have. This should put your mind at ease. When you are relaxed, your healing process automatically starts.

These days, it’s pretty easy for people to use the internet to diagnose themselves or ask friends or other, inexperienced people for advice. This can be helpful from time to time, but vaginismus is a serious problem. You need to see an expert to be sure about your health. He or she will conduct tests and scans that you simply can’t have anywhere else, so it’s the best course of action.

Tests and scansYou can also use this opportunity to ask questions and communicate with the doctor about the problem. Too many women suffer in silence with problems like vaginismus. It can be an amazing relief to start talking about it. You can also learn much more about the problem. You will understand the best ways to deal with it by speaking with a professional.

2. Get To Know Your Body Better

The next step for the proper treatment of vaginismus is to start getting in touch with your own body. If you don’t understand the limitations and characteristics of your own physical being, you don’t have much hope of overcoming this problem. If you can start learning about your reactions to things, then you can work towards having a better life.

Feel painThe best place to start is by learning your pain points. This involves figuring out what activities or things actually make you feel pain.

When having sex, you need to work out whether your vagina reacts negatively to every form of penetration, or perhaps you have less pain with fingers or toys, than a penis.

Perhaps heavier touches cause you more pain. Maybe certain areas around your sexual organs are more sensitive than others. Possibly, different positions cause additional pain.

Next, you will need to find your emotional pain points. These are the things which happen in your mind and cause your vagina to tighten up. Maybe you begin to tighten just by thinking of sex, or perhaps it only occurs at the moment of penetration.

Can you talk about sex without feeling frightened or disgusted? Can you allow your partner to touch you without experiencing vaginal spasms? Find the answers to these questions, and you will find it much easier to deal with your issues.

3. Kegel Exercises Are An Effective Cure For Vaginismus

Kegel exercises
Photo by bbchst91 / CC BY-SA

A highly-recommended activity to deal with vaginismus is the introduction of Kegel exercises to your daily routine. Kegels work to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and give you better control over this part of your body.

These muscles are involved in lots of processes including orgasms, urination and childbirth, so it becomes necessary to keep them active.

To do a simple Kegel exercise, you need to focus on tightening these muscles in the same way you would if you wanted to stop yourself from peeing. Hold the muscle in a tightened position for about 10 seconds, and then relax for another 10 seconds before starting again.

Do this about 20 times each session and try to do a few sessions per day. The beneficial thing about Kegels is that you can do them anywhere and anytime. You can exercise your pelvic muscles while traveling, working in the office, or even sitting in front of the TV.

4. Vaginal Dilators Can Ease Your Suffering

GelMany medical professionals may prescribe vaginal dilators to people who are suffering from vaginismus.One is required to insert these dilators into the vagina to help them become more accustomed to the feeling of having an object inside them.

Dilators come in various shapes and sizes depending on the patient’s needs. Over time, patients start to use larger dilators to help overcome the anxiety and pain. Once they move up to the bigger dilators, they become ready to have sex again.

Aloe veraHowever, to be sure that your sexual experiences are pleasant rather than painful, it’s wise to invest in a good lubricant. We would recommend lubricants like those that are available at The gel available from HerSolution is completely natural and has no harsh side effects.

It is composed of gentle and soothing ingredients, like aloe vera and cocoa butter. This gel works to make sexual intercourse an enjoyable experience for any woman, while also delivering plenty of vital nutrients to the vagina.

The regular use of gel provides you healthier sexual organs that help you experience intense orgasms and increased sensitivity. Even though safe, it’s noteworthy to check with your doctor before using any lubricant, as problems can arise with certain people.

5. Sex Therapists Will Heal Your Pain And Calm Your Mind

One of the effective treatments of this painful condition is sex therapy. Various mental problems and past experiences can worsen vaginismus. Anything from abuse you may have experienced as a child, or a bad breakup can lead to the development of vaginismus. In all such cases, sex therapists can help you identify the hidden causes and help you work to overcome them.

DoctorVaginal dilators and professional gynecologists will be able to help you in a physical sense, but to get to the root of the problem and heal your mind, you need to speak to a therapist. Sex therapists are fully trained and entirely professional. They will listen to your problems and help you understand the reasons why you may have developed this condition.

You should not feel any stress or anxiety about visiting a sex therapist. It will certainly make you feel better to talk about your problems and open up about your emotions to a well-informed and attentive person. You can find sex therapists in most cities. Many of them offer couple’s sessions, as well, if you would prefer to visit with your partner.

If you are suffering from any of the symptoms we mentioned above, you should immediately get yourself treated by a professional. The best course of action is to seek aid from your doctor or gynecologist, and then begin a course of treatment.

Vaginismus can seem like a stressful and embarrassing condition, but it’s quite common and it’s not your fault. Take action as soon as possible rather than ignoring its symptoms. With a bit of time and patience, you will be on your way to recovery.